Craving

 For all the things I cannot do

The things I cannot say

The nights I lie here wanting you

Yet crave the break of day

There is no time my heart is still

No time my thoughts are calm

The craving that fills all my dreams

Is lying in your arms

How can the night spin endlessly

Where is the break of dawn

You are my souls only release

My only heartfelt song

I end my day with thoughts of you

On waking, you are first

You are my unleashed hunger

You are my unquenched thirst

je billheimer

Unspoken

Can you be my love

Are you the one I dreamt of

All those years ago

Is it finally you

Or are you just a wish

I made up to get through

When I was so young

And life was still a journey

Not yet travelled

I felt there would be

One someone 

Who would keep me

from becoming unraveled

Now after long years

Spent traveling alone

Or with a love

With eyes unseeing

You have appeared

And I am undone

With hopes of love 

Beyond believing

Please tell me, love

You are the one I dreamt of

When dreams were my hopes

Unspoken

Please be the one

For in your arms

My love has awoken

je billheimer

Flowers and Lies

He brings yellow roses

And sweet words of love

And little lies for me to swallow

He shreds my hopes

With promises broken

Puddles of tears in which I wallow

I pick up the remnants

Of dreams in tatters

And tell myself, tomorrow

He will bring roses

Without the lies

No more tears for me to swallow

j e billheimer

For S

There is sunshine in her smile

With caution 'round the edges

As if she isn't sure she is safe

And trust is a fragile commodity

She finds her value through love

The loving of her family

The sweet care for her children

They make her whole

Fiercely devoted

Strongly Opinionated

Absolutely involved

She is ferociously beautiful

I stand in awe

j e billheimer

Chika

She has resources she never
knew of
Inner strength belonging to someone
much larger

She holds herself to such high
standards
Yet does not expect them
of those around her

A generosity of spirit
a joyfulness that won't
be quelled
She makes me proud to be
counted as a friend

I watch her
knowing of her struggles
She squares her shoulders,
wipes her tears, and keeps on

Beautiful woman, tragic child
loving widow
Standing proud

j e billheimer

Sweet Obsession

Oh, my love
My sweet obsession
How I yearn for your light touch
Oh, my soul
My sweet possession
Never dared to love this much

First you came
You smiled so sweetly
My poor heart was all undone
How could I
Stand by so meekly
Knew from the start you were the one

When I was
Alone and lonely
Hopelessness within me churned
Now it's you
I long for only
You arrived and hope returned

Years have passed
We're still together
Life and love now intertwined
If I thought you'd leave me ever
I fear I would lose my mind

j e billheimer

No Tears

There were no tears
When he died
Not from me
Not for him
I cried

They thought I cried
Bitter tears
That's not true
Not then
Not for years

There was nothing
When he died
Not for me
But for them
I cried

j e billheimer