Fields of Green and Gold

The carefree days of yesteryear
Still linger in my memory
Such simple times and pleasures spent
In fields of green and gold

Joyous laughter shared still echoes
Close my eyes and I still hear
The glee filled shouts of distant childhood
In fields of green and gold

Vivien

Where'd you come from sassy pants
You fearless little wonder
How did you hypnotize me
What's this spell you have me under

You're much too bright for your young age
So quickly into trouble
Who know that such a little girl
Could cause gray hair to double

I should have known you'd dazzle me
My life you've torn apart
I can't deny you anything
Because you own my heart

Brycen

How quickly you have won my heart
Even though
I just met you
Loved you from the very start
Even though
I hardly know you

With each passing precious grin
In giant leaps
Oh, how my love grows
Put my heart into a spin
My love for you is
Overwhelming

Watch you grow so full of joy
Wondering
Who will you be
You're my own sons little boy
How the years flow
And my love grows

For Devera*

There once was a girl
So fragile and carefree
She lived her life her way
And played her own music
And nobody could see
This girl she was broken
Afraid no one would see
How deeply she felt things
And wanted to be free

She lived her life her way
And gave her love freely
To all who would love her
Or say that they loved her
She could not recover
Didn't want to discover
They might not have loved her
So gave herself freely
Not all butterflies are free

But then she was taken
And then she was broken
And none could protect her
We could not protect her
She never would see the
Joys of the morrow
And we are all sorrow
And we are all sorrow
There is no tomorrow

We long to embrace her
To tell her that we see
Who she wanted to be
We cannot replace her
Or pull our own hearts free
Of what we remember
Of fragile but carefree
Sweet fragile girl we see
That butterflies are free
As ever you will be

Running in Place*

I cannot get over
Though time keeps on passing
And life keeps progressing
And I keep on dancing
It's never so carefree
As young girls who are free
They never quite are free
They never can be me
I can't seem to get free

I keep on returning
To heart wrenching love lost
A loss I did not cause
Can't seem to get free of
Pain ties me with my love
Love binds me to this loss
Lost years and I'm still tied
Such pain cannot be denied

She's forever just out of reach
Beyond my sad memory's grasp
I keep searching and reaching
For a way to hold on
But she's gone and she's gone
Can't change all the tears cried
How I long for the better times
Carefree times before she died

How I search for the answers
To help me to say goodbye
Like why did she have to die
Why I still cry
Can't say goodbye
To sweet butterfly girl
Fragile girl gone too soon
Don't care if butterflies are free
It's just not enough for me
Don't think it can ever be
I may never be set free

Clarity

I looked at my life and found
So many things I was doing
Were dragging me down
Slowing me down

I couldn't see a clear path
My decisions had defeated me
Leaving me no choices
Spinning my own wheels

In hopelessness I muddled through
Keeping to a road that brought no joy
Unable to see a way out
No passage to a better place

Clarity of thought can't be explained
Suddenly the answers came fast and clear
The choices were mine, I had all the power
To pick and choose what to leave behind

The freedom comes from owning it all
Dwarfing the fears I had of change
I made bold moves, not afraid to fall
Knowing that life is now mine to own

Scattered Thoughts*

When I think of what I want to say
It drifts, skitters, slides away
I can't remember where I started
The trials of the day

It's vital when it comes to mind
It has to be set free
It must be said be shared be told
The secrets live in me

I feel I must shout out the tale
The message comes alive
Then in a moment...it's all gone
Just tatters to survive

I gather all my courage
Surely this will be the day
I'll say it all, it all comes clear
Before I fade away

Insidious Crime*

Time is a thief
Stealing memories of you
A bit at a time
Your laughter first
An insidious crime

The tilt of your head
The sound of your voice
Just a bit at a time
The smell of your hair
Insidious crime

I was holding so tightly
But it was all smoke
And time was the wind
An insidious crime
Memories stolen by time

I remember the pain
As fresh and as raw
As the day I lost you
Not lessened by time
An insidious crime

Bedtime*

I stretch up on my tippy toes
And scream and scream and scream
Do you see me
Do you hear me
Do you know me

I reach out to my fingertips
And lean and lean and lean
Can I touch you
Can I reach you
Can I feel you

All I have is what you give
I need I need I need
To you need me
Do you want me
Do you love me

It's hard to be a little child
And scream and lean and need
Will you hold me
Will you tell me
That you love me

Then all at once you walk back in
I breathe and breathe and breathe
You do hold me
You do need me
You do love me

Waking Up*

I cancelled all my doubts today
And pushed my fears aside
No longer will I let them
Trip me up
Slow me down
Shut me down

I pulled out all the stops today
And welcomed back my pride
No longer will I keep my dreams
Bottled up
Pushed away
All inside

I started waking up today
I'm taking things in stride
From now on I'll be
Standing up
Looking up
Owning up
It's good to be alive

For Mom*

Is there a way I might convey
The depth of my resolve
To be the best that I can be
In hopes I make you proud

I want to have you understand
The luck I feel today
To have your love and laughter
To help me find my way

Your road has been a bumpy one
No envy of your trials
And yet you still laugh at yourself
A gift to me, your child

From all of us who love you so
We thank you for the love you give
And something else you ought to know
We thank you for the lives we live

The Journey*

I can't imagine not knowing you
Not spending time
Growing old with you

Can't see myself in our happy home
Being by myself
Going on alone

The years with you, filling up my time
Have been precious years
With you on my mind

If I were to change our journey here
I would add more time
Time to have you near

It's been all I could have asked of life
To be loved by you
And to be your wife

Give me lots more days
Weeks and years to spend
Growing old with you
Til our journeys end

Whats it all about?*

Although I have authored all of the poems here, even I have favorites.  Some speak louder than others.  The meter or rhythm suit me better.  Some wrote themselves, sometimes so quickly I could barely write fast enough to capture them.  One that I felt was perfect managed to get deleted twice before it was saved in its final form.  Some stand exactly as they arrived while others have been tweaked and edited.  Some I love, many are barely adequate.  But they all meant something to me when they appeared.

A friend asked if I thought I might be an avatar for some long dead poet because the poems were coming so fast and complete.  My answer was and is, no.  These are mine, my pain, my grief, my joy, my comfort.  My therapy.

I hope they connect with you.  I have many more to post and will continue adding them weekly.  I must admit, I haven't posted my own favorites yet.   I would love to hear which poem strikes a chord with you.  I find it fascinating.  Thank you for letting me share my passion.  It means the world to me.

A Silly Song*

I want a rambling silly song
To make its random silly way
Into my head when I become
Lonesome for a better day

I want a rambling silly song
To keep me on a winding path
One not too straight or serious
To smile or hum or laugh

And with this rambling silliness
A chance to sing off key
I can't please all the other folk
Unless I'm pleasing me

I do not seek a selfish life
Oh no, no, that's not it
I just prefer a silly song
While I'm living it

To K*

Drinking in the taste of you
The warmth of breath upon my face
The tingling that I feel inside
The circle of your strong embrace

The certainty that I belong
In this life that we two share
The happiness that fills my heart
Knowing that you're always there

This never was a passing fling
The kind that are so quickly past
This is a love to last a life
This is our love, a love to last

Before*

Before the promises not kept
Before the deeds still left undone
Come creeping back to steal my time
I seek a place to be alone

A place to while away some hours
To quiet all the outer noise
A place that's still and calm and sweet
To listen to my inner voice

And when this time comes to an end
I'll hold the memory of that voice
Embrace this crazy life I lead
Remembering I made the choice

Resolve*

Where the meadow falls away
My cluttered mind can come to rest
And hide from distant voices pleas
To find some peaceful thoughts at last

I turn from all my harried thoughts
To seek a quieter retreat
One that brings me calm resolve
A calmer place to ease my fears

And with this quiet calm resolve
My fears and tears retreat at last
To show me I am not alone
And guide me back to love and home