Losing Battle

I can only say
in truth
that I can't fight you anymore
Fight you, or fight for you
The end is the same

You seemingly
have no interest
In meeting me halfway
And now I feel the bitterness
of losing what I'd gained

Realizing
only now
I cannot win this fight
I haven't got the strength
To help you do what's right

j e billheimer

Falling

I'm breaking I'm falling
Limbs quaking
I'm shaking
Not knowing
What's coming
I'm breaking
I'm falling

I'm trembling I'm rambling
I'm scrambling
I'm calling
Your name
Hear me calling
Please catch me
I'm falling

I'm dreaming I'm praying
I'm hoping
You're saying
You'll love me
Unchanging
Keep hoping
I'm praying

This life ever changing
Not knowing
I'm saying
With you
I'm falling
In love with you
Always
Please catch me
I'm falling

j e billheimer

Unfinished business

Conversations in my head
The things that must remain unsaid
The endless tortures in my mind
The peace that I have yet to find

Attempting to have some resolve
Angry words endlessly revolve

These things I cannot say aloud
As tearful thoughts within me crowd

So round and round within my mind
To keep from thinking thoughts unkind
I picture finding some release
In hopes someday, I'll find some peace

j e billheimer

Summer's Chorus

Speak to me, oh summer rain
Fill my mind with measured patter
Help me find my peace again
Concentrate on things that matter
Quiet thoughts 'mid splendid splatter

Speak to me, oh summer chorus
Crickets, frogs and leaves in motion
With your song you help restore us
Bringing peace from mixed emotion
Drugging me with summers potion

Breathing in the thick, rich flavors
Of a summer night alone
Deep and subtle, mine to savor
In my mind, it takes me home
Summer nights, here I belong

j e billheimer

Friendship

I'd like to raise my glass today
To all the friends I've led astray
To dancing 'til the break of day
I raise my glass to you

I humbly beg a chance to say
That through it all, yes every day
I knew my friends were here to stay
The brave, the proud, the few

And through the years I've had the chance
To add a few, and thus enhance
This crazy life, which, at a glance
Seems rudderless, it's true

But, I can tell you, friends of mine
That through it all, and through all time
I know my life's been made sublime
By every one of you

j e billheimer

Flawed

How I loathe the break of day
Where all my failings come to light
No longer safe from prying eyes
Well hidden in the night
Oh, please, hold back the light

How I dread the morning sun
Who's cheerful light shows all my flaws
Where careless words and thoughtless deeds
Show glaringly for all to see
The helpless mess that's really me

I know that I can't find a way
To hold at bay the coming dawn
Yet, how to greet the coming light
Ashamed, destroyed, I can't move on
Reveal my flaws, oh heartless dawn

j e billheimer