Panic

I'm beginning to panic when we talk
All our words seem to hold such meaning
As if we both can feel our time together
Winding down
Running short
Running out

Whatever we talk about
The everyday stuff that seems to
make you smile
It's there, underneath
Intensely unspoken
I love you
Don't leave me
You love me

I'm not ready
How can I be ready
Just the thought of you
beyond my reach
Begins to choke me
With fear
With longing
and despair

No
Not yet
I'm just finally getting to tell you
about me
What you've meant to me
I want to hold you
To tell you how lucky
You make me feel

It's so stupid
That I am here
Working, living, aching
While you are there
Living, laughing, dying

I don't know how to do this
I still have so much I want to tell you
Stories to make you laugh
I need to hear your  laughter
I want more time
I want more you