Giving

I know there are those who think me fool
naïve and all too trusting
I don't deny they may be right

Yet, when walking on the avenue
I am asked to lend a hand
I find it hard to turn away

I suppose there are those
who take advantage
who don't really need help

But I cant tell the difference
between someone who says
they are hungry
and someone who really is
hungry

I do what I do, for me
not for them
So I can live with myself

Love me

Come to me when the lights are low
When time slows down
and favors lovers
Say you will stay and be my love
For I will have no others

Lay with me now and calm my fears
Our love will last forever
Bring all you are, as I will
our joy is to be together

Welcome me home with sweet embrace
Tell me you're mine and smile
Wrap me in soft contented bliss
Steal breath and sigh with melting kiss
This is what we were made for

Journey Home

I want to go home
to the place where I was safe
from life's cruel taunts
where I was sure of my place and
how much I belonged
I want to go home

I long to be home
to open a door into a calming space
where love is the norm
and angry words aren't welcome
where I am greeted with smiles
I long to be home

I need to go home
to the place that replenishes
my very soul
to the place that makes me whole
to the people who I know will always
welcome me home

Essential

She's essential to my life
The insights that she brings to me
The quiet love she sings to me
Are wondrous treasures every one
Her generous ways abound

She's essential to my happiness
The way I feel when I'm with her
Love spending all my time with her
Wrapped in her love I am at home
She is my heart and haven

I am Mighty

Don't underestimate me
Do not think you know me
Through and through

Or that my tears mean
I am fragile
Or weak
They do not
I am not

I care strongly
I love deeply
I have been through
Difficult times
And wondrous adventures

I Am Mighty
I know this to be true
Love will do that for you
Besides
My mom  told me
And she never lies

Like a thief

Like a thief
He comes to steal my sadness
Gently stroking my lashes
Brushing away all my tears
And cares

Like a thief
He comes to steal my heart
And by doing so
He gently steers me
Toward our future

Consequences

I'm hiding
Oh, I look the same
I appear to be here
Going on with daily living
as we do every day
but inside of me I am hiding
Hiding my emotions away
Nothing will hurt me today

I'm hiding
the pain that's stealing my breath
So, you'd never guess
the concentration it takes
to put on this show
So no one suspects
How shaken I'm feeling
So no one will know
My senses still reeling

I'm afraid and I'm angry
and feeling ashamed
I'm not more supportive
I know you're in pain
I know you can't stop this
I know it's not you
But the things you are doing
What you're putting us through
It's breaking our hearts
and it's breaking you, too

What were you thinking
Were you thinking at all
These are the questions
that run through my head
When I think how you thought
You'd be better off dead
Put an end to your misery
And ours just begins
If you had succeeded
then none of us wins

I know that I'm selfish
I still want you near
Please try to stay with us
We all want you here
There are consequences
to every act
Please
I don't want to bury you

In Darkness

Waking at midnight
when sleep fades away
Alone with my thoughts
and lost dreams
I turn to my memories
while waiting for day
I'm coming apart at the seams

It's in this dark quiet
my thoughts turn to you
And at times it's a sweet reminisce
More often than not
it becomes bittersweet
Thinking of all I have missed

The things I never did tell you
Forever live on in my heart
I grieve for the loss of our friendship
For the children you never had
I long for more time with my sister
For all I am left now is sad

Big Brother

Did I ever tell you
How important you made me feel
When you would stick up for me
to the neighborhood kids
And let me hang around with you

Did you ever know
How grown up I thought you were
At fifteen
When you chose to stay
When we had to go

Did I ever tell you
How cool I thought you were
When we danced at your friends
wedding
When I was just 13
And you made me feel pretty

Did I ever tell you
How moved I was
when you danced with me again
years later at a different wedding
And said you missed me

I should have
I should have told you
All along
That you were the source
of monumental moments
in my life

Solitary Man

He's a solitary man
Surrounded by loved ones and laughter
By friends who adore him and more
By people who like and respect him
Unable to trust in his own worth
He's frightened right down to his core

He knows that his secrets are many
And feels he has done far too wrong
He thinks if they knew of his failings
They all would soon head out the door
He's frightened right down to his core

He can't see we all are frightened
That we all hold secrets within
Our failings and flaws don't unmake us
And loving of others can't break us
We understand he isn't perfect
Except that he is, don't you see
As perfectly imperfect as all are
He truly is perfect to me

I am taking this chance now to tell him
I love him because of his flaws
He is who he is, as he should be
Imperfect and perfect and more
I care not a bit for his secrets
I'll never head out of that door
I love him right down to his core

Lost Child

I watch her
Without her notice
So fragile is her smile
She walks along the streets alone
Creating a delicate buffer zone
So none can penetrate her space
So all who pass leave her alone

I long to somehow reconnect
The severed bond that once was ours
But now is not the proper place
She cannot yield her hard fought space
I must respect her right to choose
Or chance she'll go, without a trace

Oh, how I love my wayward child
Who walks away as I remain
I wish that I could take her pain
Help her to find her heart's desire
In hopes she'll come back home again

Insomnia

Sleep eludes me
Thoughts keep churning
Mind keeps whirling
As world keeps turning
a dizzying cycle
Without purpose

Exhausted

Life

you just can't know how tired I am
my eyes hurt-scratchy, achy
my limbs feel heavy and numb
it feels kinda hard to breathe

No, I'm not depressed
Depressed about what?
I'm just tired
Tired
Don't you get it?
I have a lot on my mind
Too much to do
I can't get it all done

Why would you even say that
I'm not being dramatic
I'm not complaining
or making things up
I like my life
I don't mind helping out
I'm just tired
I'm just tired
that's all.

Just so damned tired

Worthless

Don't be so careless, I said
This could be important
Don't be so callous
I cried
Not everyone lives for the moment

Don't be so foolish, he said
Nothing really has value
Don't be so fragile, he smiled
It must be hard to be you

Don't be so heartless, I said
I used to feel important
Don't leave me broken
I cried
I loved you until this moment

Don't be so dramatic, he said
Your love really has no value
Don't look surprised, he smiled
I have no more use for you

Where did I go wrong
I know it was all my fault
How can I make him love me again
When I have no value

Edge of Sanity

I find at times I'm questioning my sanity
feel the world around me growing thin
my concentration's going, at least that's how
it seems
Unsure of what's reality and what are dreams
This state of pure confusion that I'm in

My memories seem current and today's a dream
I'm losing touch, can't keep it all in line
It's frightening, this struggle to win the race
I need a chance to reconnect this time and place
I'm fairly sure I'm running out of time

If one day I forever lose my fight to stay
in the world where all my loved ones dwell
Will I even notice the different road I'm on
Will my loved ones stare and wonder where I have gone
Slipped forever, into my private hell

My Second Chance

You seldom get the chance to try anew
A second chance to capture love so true
There was a time when life was mine to taste
I spent my love on choices made in haste
Second chances should not go to waste

Mired down by hopelessness and dreams undone
The second chance has slipped right through my hands
So full of empty longing I can only stand
And watch as old mistakes wreak future plans
Despair is mine that now I understand

The blame is mine alone, I took a chance
I thought I was much smarter at this game
Yet in the end I stand here on my own
Left to live this life of mine alone
Still longing for a love I've never known

Autumn

Autumn mornings glistening
with dew and frost
Wisps of fog are lifting with the dawn
Trees are wearing season's
 gaudy colored leaves
Brilliant hues are dressed on every one

Autumn's varied jewels
 tantalize the eye
Crimson and burnt orange touching azure blue
Emerald green carpet
splashed with golden sun
Nature dressed in jewels for our view

Moments with you

Waking to the sound of rain upon the glass
Snuggled deep inside my warm cocoon
Drifting in that haze between dream and wake
Cuddled snug with you in our chilled room

I'm storing up these moments of you and I
The gentle way you hold me as I sleep
For I know it won't be long now til you're gone away
And I'll treasure every memory as I weep

Star crossed loves

The love that they are sharing is forbidden fruit
Neither family nor friends will understand
No common ground between them where
their love took root
Different worlds colliding, future
in their hands

Caring not for consequences her rash actions bring
She thinks only of a chance to have him near
Taking far too many chances for the one
she loves
Waiting for the moment that he will
appear

Not the first of star crossed lovers to risk it all
They're determined that their love will see
them through
Holding fast to one another they turn from
their past
Safe within their love they start their lives anew

Regret

There is nothing more to say
Baffled by the choices that he made
Wishing time was hers to turn back
She stands mutely watching
as it all slips away

She can't remember when it
still made sense
A time when bitter tears
weren't hers to shed
She's longing for a chance
to make it right
She doesn't want to live
this life of dread

So quietly she turns and
walks away
Pretending that the cost is
not too great
Blindly makes her way
back to her room
Nothing left to do
It's all too late

Idyll

He lightly strokes her hair upon the pillow
Enraptured by her hand beneath her cheek
He longs to bring her close and hold her gently
Loves her so completely he feels weak

He wants these moments etched upon his memory
To close his eyes and still recall her smile
The feather of her lashes on his shoulder
These memories must last for a long while

He knows he would do anything to stay here
For everything he has is hers to keep
He longs to hear her voice upon her waking
But for now he is content to watch her sleep

Songs Not Sung

Looking back on all my memories
Flipping through catalogs of plans
And untold dreams
Peering down avenues of journeys
Never taken
Measuring each choice I made 

Against unchosen scenes

Curious of the life I would have led
If I had made my choices slower still
If, instead of rushing headlong down
This path I'm on
I'd thought more about the journey
And less of destination
Taken time to embrace each situation
And the many joys 

Each one brought along

I don't know if others look back as I do
Wondering what adventures those other
Paths could bring
It's not that I'm unhappy with
The life I'm living now
It's the pondering of the life
I didn't lead
It's humming to the songs
I didn't sing

Rumble

Listen to the far off thunder
Storm is brewing, coming near
Watching  clouds with sense of wonder
Gathering storm is almost here

What magic this, the storm surrounds me
Mesmerized by rain and wind
Feel my pulse speed up inside me
Let the summer rain begin

Sleep Over

Tiny hands wriggle into mine
So small and smooth and incredibly
warm
The sweetness of their kisses
Makes my heart sing
This bountiful life of mine

Smoothing sweat damp hair back
as they sleep
The twitching of small fingers
gently held in mine
These are moments for my heart
to keep
These my finest treasures, out of time

Weary Soul

Take these troubles from my hands
No more make these sorrows mine
Take me to a distant shore
All my cares left far behind
Troubles carried there no more

Lay me down and rest my mind
Battered spirit begs surcease
Is there no safe haven found
for a soul to find some peace
Can a life find some release

Bring to me some hopeful word
That I might see sorrows end
Help me find some respite here
Show me life is still a friend
Glimpse of peace at life's sad end

With such tidings I can rest
Banish hope from life's sad shore
Here will be my journey's fate
Love will find me there no more
Hope extinguished, dream no more